a cosmetic insecurity

Last week I took a poll on Instagram and asked you all if you’d be interested in having me open up about my biggest insecurity and ‘yes’ won by a landslide. As I mentioned in the poll, this is something that is merely cosmetic. It’s something that has been bothering me since high school really and it’s really lowered my confidence as a person and especially when I take photos. When I was in high school and college, it was something that bothered me but it wasn’t something I was willing to get fixed because it wasn’t medically necessary. However, now that my job requires me to take photos of me all the time, I’ve really struggled with how I look and the reason for that is because of my nose. There’s two things that bother me with my nose: the fact that I personally think it’s too big for my face but most importantly, the fact that it’s uneven. Yes, it’s absolutely uneven! The bone structure in my nose appears to be curved as it goes down which makes one of nostrils larger than the other. Because of that, it actually affects my breathing (I can breathe easier in one nostril than the other). It’s not that substantial, but enough to where I can notice it.

By now, you all probably are searching through my photos to look at my nose. I always do my best to angle my head to where my nostrils don’t show too much or I’ll have Ajeet take a photo in a certain way to hide it. There a few out there that I couldn’t avoid and it sucks. After a long talk with Ajeet, I’m thinking about talking to a plastic surgeon about what my options are and if I’m able to get a rhinoplasty done to correct the crookedness of my nose. I haven’t even begun the process of researching plastic surgeons in Los Angeles nor have I done any research on the process and down time for it either. I have no idea if I’ll actually go through with it after I look more into it, but it’s definitely an option I’d like to explore.

To some this may sound silly but everyone has flaws and little insecurities that bother them, that’s just us being human. I was hesitant to even share this because it’s something that has affected me since I was much younger but now that I’ve officially typed this up, it actually feels so good to just let this out. Another fear I had about sharing this was the amount of backlash I may receive and before that happens, let me clarify something. This subject is personal to me and is not about any one of you. I personally struggle with breathing because of my uneven nose and I also don’t feel confident when I see it in the mirror or in pictures. It really brings me down and so I figured simply looking into my options won’t hurt. I know a lot of people are against plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures and that’s perfectly ok. Although I have yet to have any type of surgery done on me (and the thought of it scares me since I have zero pain tolerance), I will never judge a person for doing what they need to do to make them feel more confident in themselves and I hope you don’t too! We all do things to make ourselves look and feel more confident whether it’s putting makeup on, dressing up, shaving, getting botox, and all that good stuff.

Well, there it is. I’d love to hear your thoughts and if any of you have gotten this particular surgery done or know anyone that you can recommend I talk to, please let me know! Again, I have no idea if I’ll even go through with it, but I definitely want to look into it and I will of course take you all with me every step of the way. Thank you for allowing me to share this with you!

Chat soon, loves!

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